Muggle Studies Project
by hunnyx
Summary: Professor Starch has the wonderful not quite Ministry approved idea to give a project for all the seventh years involving them moving to a muggle neighborhood and having to pass as muggles for three weeks. Hurdles to be met will vary but as the author, I'll give you a clue. This story MAY include, chores, dinner parties, and... babysitting. Sans magic . :
1. Chapter 1

1st Year

Uncl- Professor Longbottom was waiting in front of two large doors as all of the first years gathered around. Everyone was nervous, but Uncle Neville gave a wink at me and my cousin and best friend, Al. I had never seen him so confident.

Dad had told me stories of pudgy, crooked toothed, nervous Neville, but I had never seen that side of him. Sure, he had a dorky side to him when it came to plants, or his only daughter, Patty, but he was a hardened war hero. Here though, in Hogwarts, he was completely in his element.

"In a few moments, you will be sorted into your houses in front of your classmates- oh Jordan, put that back in your pocket straight away," he gave a glare.

Immediately, everyone around me began to buzz, wondering what kind of test would be used to figure out which house they would be sorted into. Next to me, Al looked on the verge of a panic attack; while a loud boy behind me began asking what Fiddledunk house was known for again.

The doors swung open widely and everyone fell silent and slowly filed into a line while the older students stared at us.

I looked for my cousins, all seated together at the Gryffindor table with scarlet ties and smiling faces, waving and me and Al. I gently nudged him to look at our family and as he saw them, his face seemed to relax.

Being nearly a head taller than everyone in my year, I was able to get a much better view of the staff table and recognized nearly every person, as they all had some connection to my parents.

Uncle Neville produced an old, dirty hat and sat it on a stool. I looked around confusedly, as all of the older students focused all of their attention on the hat.

It began to sing from a rip that I supposed was now a mouth.

_Welcome one and welcome all_

_To this the Greatest of the Halls…_

The Sorting Hat went on with his song and I began thinking of the stories my parents had told me about this place. The Howler he'd received his second year from Nan, the owls that soared above the breakfast table, dropping off letters and packages, and the fighting the fact that people had even died in this room during the Second War. I was so fascinated and ready to explore every crack and crevice of this magical place. I really had been so sick of muggle school. I was constantly teased and picked on by the other girls for the magic that I would accidentally conjure.

_And we'll have the best year!_

The spectators burst into applause and I began to mindlessly clap along with them.

Mum would have scolded me if she knew I'd had one of my spacey trips while the Sorting Hat sang its song, let alone that I hadn't memorized the entire thing to be able to owl her about it.

Uncle Neville then pulled a parchment out of his robe and began to read off the names.

"Avery, Claire."

I could feel all of the first years holding in one breath as the hat deliberated.

"Hufflepuff!"

Sometimes the Hat would shout out a house as soon as it was placed on top of their head, and sometimes the hat took a very long time to deliberate, and you could see the faces of the students grow paler and paler the longer the Hat deliberated.

Someone pushed my shoulder down. "Geez Weasley, how is anyone supposed to see with your fat head on top of that giant body."

I turned around to glare at the blonde little Malfoy boy.

Dad had warned me about him and his family, and it looked as though his warning was already coming to life. This kid was gonna be trouble.

I casually leaned into him with a smirk on my face, "Sorry about that, _Squirt."_

His face turned red as he glared at me and I turned back around, pretending to be cool when I really just wanted to cry.

I felt a nudge by my hand and looked over to see Dom, another cousin of mine, grabbing my hand and giving it a tight squeeze and a smile. She pulled her hand back and looked ahead to watch Kane Flint become sorted into Slytherin.

There was no need to be nervous. I came from a long line of Gryffindors on my dad's side, and my mum was one too, even though she was a muggleborn. Dad had made jokes about being disowned if I was sorted into another house, but in my heart, I knew they would always love me.

MacMillan, Levi tripped up the steps a little and was immediately sorted into Hufflepuff. I heard Malfoy snigger behind me and mutter something about "stupid Hufflepuffs" and I resisted the urge to turn around and list off every good witch and wizard that came from the honorable house of Hufflepuff, but "Malfoy, Scorpius" was called before I had the chance.

He swaggered up to the stool and sat with a stupid smirk on his face as Uncle Neville rested the Hat on his fat, dumb, ugly head.

I expected the Hat to call out Slytherin the very moment that it touched his head, but instead, the Hat seemed to be thinking as the top seemed to be moving around thoughtfully. Malfoy's face seemed to be getting greener and his smirk was gone now. After a couple of moments the Hat called out, "Slytherin."

Malfoy seemed relieved, but not entirely as confident and arrogant before as he sat down with the cheering table.

Sally Nott had hardly any time to also be sorted into Slytherin before the hat called-

"Potter, Albus!"

I gave his hand a gentle squeeze as he walked up to the stool by Neville.

He had become good at putting on a brave face, with years of training appeasing the paparrazi. Only I knew how truly terrified he was behind those square glasses.

The hat took a long time. Longer than it took for Malfoy. Longer than it took for anyone until he finally announced…

"SLYTHERIN!"


	2. Chapter 2

7 November 2022

After the Great War (featuring my parents and uncle), Muggle Studies became a required class 3rd-5th year. It was common knowledge that all students whose parents were in any way involved with He Who Must Not Be Named, were then required to take it for their 6th and 7th years as well. Which was all fine and dandy _hypothetically_, but it practice, they just made it harder to pay focus during class. On top of that, our teacher, Professor Starch, is probably the most spacey and neurotic person I've ever met! She'll create assignments and never collect them, or never grade them. And she just LOVES all of those Slytherins who are forced to be here and just mess around all of class. I think it's all because she's afraid we're going to hate her. Of course, I'd never hate a teacher, but I do become quite easily frustrated with her and her spastic ways.

Anyway, she's been giddy for about two weeks now and she's promised to finally reveal to us her big surprise today. I take my normal seat with my best friend, Patty Longbottom, a Gryffindor. Although we're in different houses (I'm a Ravenclaw), we've managed to remain best friends since before we came here, except when she starting dating Albus in fifth year which resulted in a big fight about them having sneaked off behind my back for months while they remained a secret. Mum loves all of this of course. "Look at all the houses getting along with each other! A Gryiffindor dating a Slytherin! Our own daughter, a Ravenclaw! Inter-house unity… blah blah blah… strength in numbers… blah proof that our efforts were worth it!" Then father would usually cut her off with something about having lived through it and not needing to hear every detail of it again, to which my mother would whack him with whatever was nearest.

Vincent Goyle enchanted small bits of paper to start landing on my head. I rolled my eyes and whispered, "Percutio" aiming my wand at him and watched him jump out of his seat from the electric shock I had just sent at him. I normally never indulge the Slytherins in their games, but today I was rather peeved after receiving an A on my Transfiguration essay and I was not one to be messed with. Fortunately, Professor Starch arrived before Goyle could return and _attempt_ to engage me in a proper duel. Albus snorted and elbowed his best friend, Scorpius Malfoy, to show Goyle angrily brushing himself off, but Malfoy was too busy enchanting a piece of paper before him.

I hated him. _Scoripius_ _Malfoy_. Even his name sounds like he should be the villain in the not-so-epic that was my life. And he was more than willing to oblige. Unfortunately, he was the second smartest in our year (fortunately not Head with me though, he got into far too much trouble for that). Because of this, professors often tried to pair us together, which always ended in disaster. In our third year, Professor Slughorn put us together to create a Brew for Blackening. By the time we were done, the entire room and every student (except Malfoy and myself), and Slughorn were a neon shade of yellow. Needless to say, we haven't been paired together since.

"Ladies and gentlemen," short little Professor Starch cleared her throat and began a sort of little dance in front of us. "It is my pleasure to produce your class project which will determine 70 percent of your grade for the year!" Silence and eye rolls from the majority of the class, but I'm excited, and I sit up a little more in my chair. "I have just gotten the Headmaster's consent for all of you to take the first three weeks of January off-" now everyone's paying attention, "to be living as Muggles!"

…

Now everyone's confused. Professor Starch looks positively ecstatic and is waiting for all of us to react.

Albus politely obliges, "Umm, excuse me Professor, but how exactly are we going to do that?"

"So glad you asked, Potter!" she squeaks and skips over to her desk. "You will each be pairing off into couples, and posing as new young couples in the area. You will each have jobs lined out for you and you will use your skills that you have learned in this class to cope with work and daily life as muggles for three weeks!" Her face was red by the end of this sentence, and I could see through my glasses a couple of drops of sweat gathering at her forehead.

The class was once again in shock, and then suddenly almost every had flew into the air. Professor Starch looked overwhelmed and upset that her plan had resulted in an uproar rather than roaring applause. She took everyone's questions patiently and when everyone was done she looked quite unsettled, but managed to perk up again enough, procuring a hat from behind her desk.

"All right now! Boys line up so you can choose your partners!" I half expected Elijah Drake to go onto one of his rants about how boys could be paired with boys and whatnot, but he walked to the front of the class with the rest of the boys.

Albus was first (as always, an obsession with being first, affects everything). He reached his hand into the hat, and pulled out the first girl's name to be chosen. He smiled when he read it, "Patricia Longbottom." Next to me, Patty made an excited noise and ran up to stand next to Albus. I pretended to be happy, but COME ON! How is that fair?! Let's just put two people in a house together so they can shag for three weeks straight, yeah, fantastic plan.

Next was Kane Flint. I prayed I wouldn't be partnered with my old crush. Too awkward after the public display of Malfoy reading my diary that held the secret of my crush on the boy.

I truly wished this assignment could be completed on my own, but if I had to choose a partner, I suppose I would want it to be Lysander Scamander. We'd been fairly close all of our lives since he was the son of Luna Lovegood, who had been a member of Dumbledore's Army back in the day. He was quite strange, but not nearly as out there as his brother, Lorcan. Lysander and I had been partners for many projects and I always think he hid a small crush on me to be honest. I caught his gaze and smiled as Flint read, "Melanie Chang-Brooks."

Every Slytherin that went, I held my breath that I wouldn't have to work with. Finally, it was Lysander's turn. I crossed my fingers like an eight-year-old and closed my eyes. "Priscilla Zambini." DAMN! The most gorgeous girl in the whole year looked quite annoyed to be paired with the shy, lanky, dorky Ravenclaw. He looked very nervous and she looked very cool. They made quite an odd couple.

There were only five girls left in the classroom and I almost laughed out loud as Scorpius Malfoy was next in line. _There's still Edwards, and… well, hopefully I'll get Edwards._ Malfoy plunged his hand into the hat and dug around very violently. He pulled his arm up and read aloud, "Rose Weasley." Probably the only time he's ever called me Ro-WAIT DID HE JUST CALL MY NAME.

_Hello all! I'm having some difficulties, because I know the story so well in my head, that it's hard to remember what might be confusing to all of you reading it for the first time. So let me know if there are any questions I can clear up for y'all. Thanks 3_


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